Originally appeared on E! Online
Sister Wives star Kody Brown may have felt his love should be multiplied, but he wasn’t so great at dividing his time.
“I was flying by the seat of my pants most of the time,” Kody admitted on the TLC series’ Feb. 2 episode of scheduling nights with wives Meri Brown, Janelle Brown, Christine Brown and Robyn Brown. “Just creative.”
The patriarch noted that some other polygamous families were very intentional about how they operated.
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“I’ve seen other people who are much more well-organized, with flexibility,” he said. “And I’ve seen people who are just completely rigid, you know, where there is no flexibility. I’ve known polygamists who wouldn’t even stay with his wife on her birthday because it was out of the sync of the schedule.”
Ultimately, he acknowledged, his figure-it-out-as-you-go approach may have been faulty.
“For me,” he shared, “I believe in retrospect that my style of living plural marriage was a little bit too flexible.”
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And it seems three out of three of his ex-wives would agree.
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While second wife Janelle gave Kody credit for being “pretty good about being fair, really fair, with his time,” she noted that all bets were off when they traveled.
Agreed his third wife Christine, now wed to David Woolley, “I remember we’d get to hotels always and he never would say where he was going to stay. We never knew.”
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The chaos was particularly grating for first wife Meri, who announced the end of their decades-long marriage in early 2023.
“I’m a planner,” explained the mom to 29-year-old Leon Brown. “Like, I want to know what to expect. And I just very often wouldn’t get that kind of respect, you know, to even know. And he would just, like, show up.”
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His presence was always welcome, however, to fourth wife Robyn, his sole remaining bride.
The mom to Dayton Brown, 25, Aurora Brown, 22, Breanna Brown, 20, Solomon Brown, 13, and Ariella Brown, 9, insisted she “wasn’t really paying attention to Kody’s schedule,” on any given day. “I was okay if he wasn’t there and I was okay if he was there. It was great either way.”
However, “It seemed like it was a thing,” Robyn added, “for a couple of my sister wives.”
Count Janelle among them.
Having gotten into quite the routine with her six kids (Logan Brown, 30, Madison Brush, 29, Hunter Brown, 27, the late Garrison Brown, Gabriel Brown, 23, and Savanah Brown, 20), “I used to dread when he would stay with me because it’s such a disruption,” she confessed to Christine during the Feb. 2 episode. “I just want to have my own space.”
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And that’s just one confession she and her costars have made this season. Check out the other tea that’s been spilled in recent months.
Meri Says Kody Gave Her Hope for Their Marriage
Kody Brown insisted he was ready to divide himself from first wife Meri Brown shortly after their 1990 vows. But “he led me to believe that he would work on things by saying, ‘Oh Meri, when we move to Flagstaff, this will be a good time to have a new beginning for us,'” Meri shared in the Sept. 15 premiere, referencing their 2018 move. “Like he led me to believe those things. This is what he’s done for many, many years.”
Her main gripe, she shared, is “his lack of communication and how he really felt and what he really wanted or what he really didn’t want and the story that he’s been telling for all these years.”
And while Kody acknowledged that there may have been “mixed messages,” it was only because as he started to work on things, “I’m like, ‘Why would I do this?'” he explained. “I would not court and date her now.”
Either way, Meri’s friends were thrilled when she finally pulled the plug in early 2023.
“Theyâre like, ‘OK, we’re here for you, weâre supporting you. And itâs about damn time,'” she confessed. Blinders off, she now feels that he had been trying to get her to walk away for years by insisting he didnât love her, “Because if he can push me out and I leave, he’s not the bad guy because he didn’t walk away.”
Kody Wanted to Sell Coyote Pass
Years after the family purchased the 14-acre plot of land they planned to build on in Flagstaff, Ariz., Kody confessed in the season premiere that he was ready to let the dream wither. Unable to build without paying off the full $820,000 price tag (which the family reportedly did in 2023), he told remaining wife Robyn Brown, “Iâd almost rather scrap it or sell it and then just start again somewhere else.”
As for Robyn, “I canât talk about that,” she responded. “That is so not where Iâm at.”
Janelle Left Kody for This Reason
While second wife Janelle Brown previously told E! News, âWe just kind of started to grow apart,â ultimately it was Kodyâs lapses as a parent to some of their kids that pushed her to leave.
“The big spark for me was when his relationship broke down with my children and he didn’t seem like he would move heaven and earth to fix it,” explained the mom to Logan Brown, Madison Brown Brush, Hunter Brown, Garrison Brown, Gabriel Brown and Savanah Brown. “And I thought, OK, that was what was really holding me here.”
Even when Kody broached the idea of reconciling in the Nov. 3 episode, it was a non-negotiable for Janelle.
“I don’t know how I would ever reconcile with him and have him not have a relationship with my kids,” she said. “No, I’m going to always choose my kids.”
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Kody Feels He’s Been “Excommunicated” from His Own Family
That was the explanation Kody gave for not working harder to mend the rifts he was experiencing with several of his adult children.
“I donât fit in the family anymore,” he griped in the Sept. 15 episode. Noting he was still fully married to Robyn and parenting their five kids togetherâDayton Brown, Aurora Brown, Breanna Brown, Solomon Brown and Ariella Brownâhe added, “and then I have some relationship with some of the other kids and it’s infrequent. And so I’m like, what do I do with all of this? It doesnât feel like a family.”
Robyn and Kody’s Marriage Was on Shaky Ground
Despite being truly monogamous for the first time in their 14-year union, “Weâre probably doing the worst weâve ever done in our marriage,” Robyn confessed in the season 19 premiere. “Itâs been tough between us. He doesnât know who to blame, himself or one of the other wives. Kodyâs feeling a lot of rejection and so I think heâs kind of looking at me going, ‘Are you going to reject me too?'”
As a result, she revealed, “Iâm on my toes. Iâm having to consistently make sure that he is not sabotaging our relationship.” The hardest part, she summed up: “Thereâs no resource to help with the idea that Iâm still married to a man whoâs going through divorces.”
Kody, meanwhile, was having a crisis of confidence, sharing, “I canât look myself in the mirror and say, ‘Hey, dude. I love you.'”
For Robyn, it was a struggle to watch her former sister wives embrace their new era. “They’re all moving on,” she noted in the Oct. 27 episode. “I feel like the idiot that got left behind.”
Maddie Isn’t Speaking to Her Dad
Add Janelleâs eldest daughter Madison to the list of kids Kody doesnât currently have a relationship with. “I know that Maddie has not had any conversations with her dad,” Janelle explained during the premiere. “He’s not called, she’s not called him, and she doesn’t have any relationship with Robin. She’s pretty much written them both off.”
At issue, said Janelle, is Kody having a half-hearted relationship with Maddieâs kids Axel, Evangalynn and Josephine: “She doesn’t really want him to have any contact unless he can commit to it.”
As a result, Janelle shared in the Sept. 22 episode, Kody “did sort of cut off communicationâ with Maddie and her husband Caleb Brush (whose sister was married to Kodyâs brother) “when the family started to really dissolve.â
With Kody not visiting or calling, Maddie “has been Mama Bear to the extreme,” added Janelle. “She has felt like until he can be consistent and show up and not be dramatic that she feels like it’s probably better if they don’t know about him.”
And while Robyn noted sheâs been encouraging Kody to reach out and mend things, she said, “I think the kids should be doing the same thing, too.”
For now, though, Kody doesnât seem ready to repair the rift, griping that every time he spoke to his daughter, “It was a fish for gossip and I got tired of it.”
Kody Claimed He Never Loved Meri
While spending time together on their 32nd anniversary, “He was alluding to the fact that he never loved me and he felt like he had to marry me,” Meri shared in a chat with her friend Brandi during the Sept. 15 premiere. âAnd I said to him, I said, ‘Kody,’ I said, ‘I know you loved me.'”
And if he didn’t, the mom to Leon Brown said in a confessional, why did he ever propose?
“When a single young man meets a single young woman, why would he choose to marry her and just affirm and force love for her when he didn’t love her?” she wondered. “How cruel is that? To pick me out of a crowd and just be like, ‘I pick you to try to force myself to love for the next 32 years’?”
Kody’s response, he shared in his own confessional: “Oh, Meri has her little accusations now. Fine, she can say whatever she wants. I’m not going to comment on it.”
Though, he would share that they never enjoyed a honeymoon period.
“This marriage was on the rocks the entire marriage,” he insisted on the Oct. 20 episode. “And how would I know that? Because I had such a better relationship with Janelle, with Christine, with Robyn.”
He admitted he “should have gotten out of the relationship 25 years ago,” but he stayed out of fear, noting, “Leadership will never allow you to marry again if you’re discarding wives.”
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Janelle Threatened Legal Action Against Kody
Though she was undecided on if sheâd like to build on Coyote Pass or simply sell it off, Janelle noted that step one was paying off the Arizona property. And with Kody unwilling to talk to her about the situation, “I think I’m going to have to lawyer up,” she confessed to former sister wife Christine Brown in the Sept. 22 episode. “Because I think that’s the only way I’m ever going to get any kind of decision out of him.”
And Janelle acknowledged that without a legal marriage to Kody, “I really have no legal rights to make any kind of claim on Kodyâs property.” As she put it, “It’s not like I’m just calling a lawyer and saying I need to divorce this person. No, it’s really complicated because there’s no legal marriage.”
Kody Supposedly Divulged Private Information to His Other Wives
Kody’s explanation for not talking with Janelle about their Arizona property is that he no longer trusted her.
“We will pay off the property when the time comes,” he insisted in a confessional during the Sept. 22 episode, “and I’m not giving you any details about what I’m doing or whatever because I’m tired of disclosing information that goes through the gossip mill of our broken family.”
A bit of a pot calling the kettle black, Janelle said in her own interview.
“He leaks like a sieve,” she shared. “He told me stuff about his other relationships and his other wives that I was like, ‘I don’t think you’re supposed to be telling me that.'”
Family Money Paid for Robyn’s House
Back when the family’s love was still multiplying rather than dividing, they used to pool their money into one pot.
“We would use all the resources to help one person, then we would all rally to support the other person,” Janelle explained on the Sept. 22 episode. “That’s how it always worked until the last 10 years or so. And all of a sudden itâs been about my estate and everyone needs their own estate.”
So when Robyn was in need of a home in Arizona, they all pitched in to buy her $1.65 million five-bedroom spreadâwhich was listed for sale this past August.
The intention was that it would be an asset for the family, said Robyn. But when Janelle suggested that they all put their names on the mortage, she was rebuffed. Kody was “like, ‘No, no, we need to protect, you know, protect Robynâs estate,'” Janelle recalled. So now that she’s extricating herself from the family, continued Janelle, she’d like her portion of the Coyote Pass proceeds “and I’d like to recoup some of the money I put into Robynâs house.”
But that could be a tough sell.
“We were working together for so long,” noted Robyn. And with Janelle saying she’s owed money from them, Robyn added, “It’s like, how do you calculate? How do you figure that out? Itâs so confusing.”
Janelle Questioned How Kody Handled the Family Money
Griping about the familyâs inability to pay off Coyote Pass, Janelle said Kody claimed to have “all these other debts.” And, yet, sheâs watched him snap up other assets like trailers and home dĂ©cor. “I see all the art on their walls,” she said of Robyn and Kody’s home. “I see all these things. And thatâs fine, I have money and Iâve spent it on things, too.” (For his part Kody said much of his cash went to buying carsâ”Basically had a fleet”âand insurance for the kids.)
And while Janelle acknowledged she wasnât sure how Kody and Robyn handled their finances, “I used to always be surprised at how nice her backyard was. It was completely finished. And there was always, like, stuff at her house. And I was like, ‘Wow. Huh.'”
Bottom line, she said, “He doesn’t prioritize what I need or what I want.” And that issue eventually wore her down. “I think after a while, I began to see it, and my kids were getting very angry about it, like my adult children. Like, ‘What the hell, Mom?'”
Robyn’s take, however, was that she was very careful with her budget after her first marriage fell apart.
âI used to be not so great with money,” she shared during the Sept. 22 episode. “When I was young, I had hard knocks, and then I learned during my divorce really how to budget myself very, very well.” As for her fellow sister wives, she said, “You just must have had a different priority of where your money was going to go than I did, that’s all.”
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Janelle and Christine See Their Kids as the Core Group of the Family
Kody Thinks His Wives Leaving Hurt His Relationship With the Kids
Calling their set-up with four homes on one cul-de-sac during their stretch in Las Vegas “the best time of my life,” Kody said, “Everything was going along smoothly and Maddie and Caleb were around and it was great having them around. And I loved Caleb. He was definitely like family.”
But “things started to fall apart” in Arizona as they clashed over coronavirus-related precautions. Then when his marriages fell apart, he said, his bonds with the kids followed: “It just made all those relationships go sour.”
But Christine insisted their were issues well before she announced she was leaving in late 2021.
“All the kids that were frustrated were frustrated way before I left,” she said on the Sept. 22 episode. “My leaving didn’t change his kids’ relationship with him. Kody can still fix his relationships with his children.”
Though it’ll definitely take some work.
“I’m so angry about how I’ve been treated that I haven’t gotten past that,” Kody explained. “Here’s the thing is I’m not willing to take blame for things that my wife or ex-wife is sitting there telling them that I did. I hope the time comes when the contempt will subside. We’ll be able to find forgiveness and love again.”
Kody Said His Marriage to Meri Was Miserable
Kody revealed he and Meri didnât know each other all that well when they wed both spiritually and legally at the age of 21 and 19, respectively. (They eventually filed for divorce in 2014 so Kody could legally adopt Robynâs three eldest children from her first marriage.)
“When we got married, she was very different and I think just there’s some baggage that Meri had that I didn’t know about,â Kody explained. “Initially, I felt like I could live with it.” Claiming that everything was a fight, he said, “I canât live in a world where she is constantly angry at me.”
Yet, he was unable to leave. A man, in plural marriage, said Kody, “If he wants to stay faithful and in the faith, he cannot request a divorce. Itâs not allowed. So I was not able to get out of that relationship. At the same time, I didn’t necessarily want out of the relationship. I wanted to know if we could save and fix it.”
Hence the mixed messages, he acknowledged of Meri thinking they would work everything out. But, every time they were together, continued Kody, “She wasn’t nice, she wasn’t fun, she wasn’t kind, she wasn’t interesting. I’m trying to be curious with her and I’m bored.”
To be fair, he added, he could see why Meri felt abandoned, “But I didnât kick me out. Christine, Janelle and Meri all chose to have me leave the home.”
Kody Didn’t Agree With Meri Wanting a Spiritual Divorce
Though Janelle and Christine felt they didnât need to divorce Kody because their marriage was never legal, Meri asked their church for an official separation, called a release, in late 2022.
“When each of us four ladies married Kody, it was through our church,” she explained in the Sept. 22 episode. “Obviously we can’t all be legally married, but it was what we called a covenant. So I feel like it’s best to terminate that because we’re not moving forward with any marriage and I don’t want to be, like, sealed to him for eternity if he doesn’t want me. And Iâm at a place that, like, letâs just separate this completely.”
Kody was resistant to the idea, she added, not wanting to “acknowledge the authority” of the church leaders.
“The damage was done so badly that we’re not going to reconcile no matter what,” Kody explained of his stance. “And so however, we are made accountable to God, I don’t want to be accountable to this church and all their BS. So I’m going to let Meri go and do her thing because if I’m angry at her it, it becomes a fight. And I needed her just to go away because it just took forever for her to finally realize it’s been done and over for years.”
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Many of Kody’s Kids Aren’t Speaking to Each Other
A text message discussion over a 2021 holiday gift exchange turned particularly ugly for the 18 Brown offspring. “It all went bad, it all went south,” detailed Christine. “Kody and Robyn and their kids were on one side and they wanted nothing to do with Janelle, me, our kids. And there was a split that happened after this text thread.”
Robynâs take was that her three older kids felt the exchange was “emotionally unsafe” and said they needed to take a step back from the relationship. “But it was never anything about, ‘We don’t want to see you again, we donât want anything to do with you,'” she insisted. “It was just about, like, ‘Hey this got yucky.'”
For his part, Gabriel is hoping that they could find their way back to each other.
“The thing I want most is to just have a relationship with Robyn’s children again,” he confessed in the Oct. 13 episode. “In middle school, Aurora was my favorite person to hang out with. And in high school, I would always try to hit Dayton up. But I’m, I’m not hopeful for a relationship with Dad And Robyn.”
Robyn’s Kids Never Felt Welcomed Into the Family
“I have been told directly, multiple circumstances by multiple different people, that I was not accepted,” Aurora insisted of coming into the family when her mom wed Kody in 2010, “that I was not their sister, that they didn’t consider or see me that way.”
And her sister Breanna said she felt the parents “could have done a better job with, you know, connecting us as a family and it never really happened.”
But Christine isnât sure how they could have opened their arms any wider.
“Robynâs kids and Robyn were invited to everything,” she insisted. “I would just say, ‘Just come in, come into the house anytime you want.'”
Meanwhile, she added, her daughter Ysabel Brown was very close to Robynâs kids and Mykelti Brown Padron even lived with them for a stretch: “There were hard times and my kids were frustrated, but they always considered Robyn’s kids their siblings just the same.”
Janelle Would Do Plural Marriage Again; Kody Wouldn’t
Gushing about the independence she was afforded, Janelle said of plural marriage, “When itâs functioning correctly, you have this amazing family unit that youâre part of, a community that youâre plugged into. You have a husband and you have a great relationship with him and and you have everything, right. And then I have all my independence. So to me, plural marriage really was a really great arrangement.”
Kody, however, wouldn’t say “I do” to polygamy again.
“Polygamy kills emotional intimacy,” he opined on the Dec. 1 episode. “It makes everybody defensive, and I really want an emotionally vulnerable, intimate relationship with a woman, and you’re not going to get that in polygamy.”
Kody Started Distancing Himself From Janelle Years Ago
To hear Janelle tell it, Kody had a tougher time dividing his love after the family decamped from Las Vegas to Arizona in 2018.
“When he moved to Flagstaff, Kody found it a lot easier to be away,” she noted on the Sept. 29 episode. “A couple of times I had to remind him that he needed to come to my house.” Revealing he’d try to beg off because he was tired, she shared, “I’m really tired. I’m like, ‘Well, you can rest at my house just as much as you can rest at Robynâs house.'”
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Janelle and Christine’s Kids Didn’t Love Going to Robyn’s
Detailing the “separateness” her brood felt with Robyn, Janelle claimed, “My children were scolded if they would open up Robyn’s fridge.” For Christine’s kids, though, the issue was that “they saw that Robyn and their dad were a couple and he wasn’t in our home.”
And Robyn said her crew definitely felt the divide.
“Meri, across the board, was very accepting of my kids and I, but the rest of the family really struggled to accept my kids and I,” she shared on the Sept. 29 episode. “All we wanted to do was be a part of this family.”
But Gabriel would argue that he and his siblings went to great lengths to bring them into the fold.
“I think that Robyn definitely has a victim complex,” he said in the Oct. 13 episode. “I mean, to put it bluntly. And I donât necessarily blame her for that. I think that different people do, you know, devise different strategies to keep themselves afloat.”
However, he continued, “If she actually believes that we were mistreating her or her children in any way when she was constantly getting favorited by Dad and we were always working on our relationship with her kids, if she actually believes that, then there’s no chance of me having a relationship with Robyn ever again.”
Janelle Questioned Robyn and Kody’s Parenting
Having their dad shuffle between four different homes did have an affect on Kody’s 18 kids, he detailed during the Sept. 29 episode, sharing the time that his and Robyn’s youngest, Ariella, who was born in January 2016, clung to his leg as he was trying to leave.
“I had to explain to her, ‘Thereâs another wife that needs me, another mommy. I got other kids that need to see me,'” Kody described. “And sheâs just dragging along on my legs screaming, ‘Don’t leave me, Daddy, don’t leave me.’ And Iâm like, ‘Golly, man, this is hard.'”
Unfortunately, that’s just a reality of plural marriage, insisted Janelle.
“From the very beginning,” she explained, her kids “knew that their dad was not going to always be there. I always felt like that Kody and Robyn mismanaged the situation with her children. He couldn’t be away for more than three or four days because Ari just gets so sad or whatever. I’m like, I feel like that was poor parenting. Through all history of the family the other kids did it and theyâre fine. Theyâre well-adjusted adults.”
Mykelti Had a Very Close Relationship With Robyn
One of the few Brown kids who was still close to both Robyn and Kody and Christine and Janelle, mom of three Mykelti took on the role of peacekeeper during Kody’s divorces.
Tight with Robyn from the moment she entered the Brown family, Mykelti even invited her to be at the November 2022 birth of her twins Archer and Ace.
“When Robyn first joined the family, I was trying to figure out who I was, and she made me feel special and she made me feel seen,” Mykelti explained during the Sept. 29 episode. “Robyn was there for me when I needed somebody. She was there for me when I needed somebody to hear me, to love me.”
And her mom Christine couldn’t have been more thrilled. “When Robyn came in the family and it was obvious her and Mykelti had a great relationship, it was everything that I hoped for,” Christine shared no the Oct. 6 episode. “When I was so excited about having a plural family, I was hoping that my kids would have a great relationship with other moms. “
One of Kody’s Kids Claimed He “Brainwashed” Them
Kody feels it’s not only his wives who subtracted him from their lives. “They’re purposefully leaving me out of their lives to punish me for a crime I did not commit,” he explained during the Oct. 6 epsiodes, giving his take on his estrangement from some of his older kids. “I am only guilty of not falling madly in love with their mothers.”
What’s more, he continued, he think his former spouses are a bit to blame.
“This disparity in relationship with my children is specifically in my mind because of s–t talk,” he said. “There’s this whirlwind of disappointment from the family breaking up or whatever, and it’s like, ‘Well, blame Dad. Dad screwed up.'”
But while he can shoulder a bit of that blame, he takes umbrance with the name-calling. Revealing, specifically, that he was struggling to connect with Hunter, Maddie and Gabriel, Kody shared that one of his kids responded to a text “saying, ‘You are a piece of trash. I would never speak to you again anyway.'”
In a separate incident, he told cameras, “I’ve had one of my kids just say, ‘Youâre an a–hole. Iâm never talking to you again. You manipulated me and you brainwashed me.'”
And it’s that venom he’s not willing to deal with. “Iâm not going to reach out forever,” he said, noting he thinks his adults should be doing more to fix things. “I’m willing to make the effort, but somebody else is going to have to be on the other end of that and make some effort too.”
Robyn Was Struggling to Respect Kody as a Parent
For Robyn, watching Kody’s estrangement from his adult children hit far too close to home.
“When I was little, my parents got a divorce,” she explained during the Oct. 6 episode. “He lived with one wife in another city, and then my mom lived alone. I remember confronting my biological father saying, ‘What happened? Why?’ All he really did was just make a bunch of lame excuses as to why he wasn’t there for me when I was young and it just sucked.”
So, no, she wasn’t about to allow Kody’s hurt feelings stop him from making an effort. “Iâm having a hard time not, like, feeling like losing respect for you a little bit,” she shared during their explosive on-camera argument, which took place in late 2022.
And though Kody acknowledged he could be doing more to mend his relationship with his kids, he said he needs to mend his heart first.
Saying he feels some of his kids are “colluding against me,” he revealed, “I’m so angry about what has happened that if I talk to my kids, I’m worried that they’ll trigger me with an accusation. Iâm too hot-headed right now. All Iâll do is more damage.”
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