Glastonbury is one of the world’s biggest music festivals, so how did the BBC make it feel so small and tepid? The broadcaster pats itself on the back over the quality of its Glasto coverage, but for all the hours of live performance pumped out from Thursday through to Sunday, the real story of this weekend’s programming was that it sucked much of the sparkle out of what should have been a magical weekend.
Take Shania Twain’s legends slot on Sunday afternoon. Experienced on the ground, it was by all accounts a wonderful hour of nostalgia – a riot of big hair, big hats and big-league swearing (“let’s get on with the s___ kicking,” the Man! I Feel Like A Woman! singer exclaimed halfway through). Incredibly, none of that came across on screen, and instead, viewers might have concluded that Shania had punched in with a dreary shift at the office.
The same lack of atmosphere was a feature of SZA’s Sunday night headliner – where her phantasmagorical set and her enthusiastic straddling of a fake plastic tree was somehow converted into a TV experience almost as underwhelming as the first 95 minutes of England v Slovakia. Waffling from the presenters didn’t help – at one point, someone claimed SZA was a “household name that many people have never heard of”.
Worse yet, after SZA had sizzled her last, the presenters appeared to suggest that Glastonbury’s Pyramid Stage was merely a baby step for the singer – a sort of training ground for future festival triumphs. “When SZA was announced as a headliner, everyone was like, ‘Oh really?’ said Jack Saunders. “Let’s not forget that Glastonbury is a place that gives opportunities to artists to headline festivals. Everyone has to have their first moment. That was certainly SZA’s.” It was as if he thought she was rubbish – but didn’t want to say it out loud.
Troweled-on enthusiasm aside, the patchy musical quality was one of the biggest problems. Cyndi Lauper on Saturday sounded as if she was singing into a cheese grater rather than a microphone, while the first third of SZA seemed to be coming from the bottom of a well. To be fair, these were issues for Glastonbury itself rather than for the BBC – Lauper is believed to have complained afterwards about the delay in her in-ear monitor, which may explain the stuttering vocals. Usually, these complications are ironed out in soundcheck. Alas, that luxury is unavailable on the conveyor belt that is Glastonbury.
Such hiccups are inevitable at a festival, where chaos is part of the charm. Other difficulties were entirely down to the BBC, including the often bizarre choice as to what artist to broadcast on terrestrial channels. Why skip Pyramid Stage opener Squeeze, for instance when their vintage new-wave rock would have appealed to a huge chunk of the home viewership? There were also lingering issues with the iPlayer, which remains a labyrinth to navigate and where coverage – including Burna Boy’s Sunday night set – was delayed for no apparent reason. All of which is a repeat of the events of 2022, when Paul McCartney’s headline set took an age to appear on iPlayer.
Of course, an excellent performance can transcend even to…p-level faffing-about, and that’s what Coldplay achieved with their Saturday night slot. Even at home on your couch, you could tell it was a special moment. The real shame, though, was this was perhaps the only time across the entire weekend when Glasto’s sense of wonder was brought to life. For the rest of the time, the BBC’s greatest trick was to make that magic vanish before your very eyes.
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