Humor: Elementary school word problems that definitely aren’t about death

  • Jace had 2 pet birds. 1 of his birds went to live on a beautiful bird farm so he could stretch his wings and play with other birds. Draw a picture showing how happy and totally alive both of Jace’s birds are now!

  • Ava read 2 books at school and 3 books while waiting for the firefighters to help her grandfather wake up from a very long nap. How many books did Ava read in all?

  • Max loves to play baseball. His uncle gave him 2 baseballs and said, his voice obscured by a persistent beeping, “I hope these bring you as much joy as they did me.” Use counters to show how many baseballs Max has.

  • Xavier had 3 marbles. 1 of the marbles rolled away and Xavier’s dog, Meatball, grabbed it and then rolled over to offer up his belly for scratching. Meatball was having so much fun, he lay on his back like that for hours until Xavier went to bed. How many marbles does Xavier have left?

  • There were 3 fish in the fish tank. Now there are 2 fish and 1 of them is much puffier for some reason. How many fish moved to a happy new home?

  • A group of 4 squirrels crossed the street. 1 stopped halfway, scampered back, and hid under a car that was driving by. How many squirrels are not hiding under a moving car?

  • Emily was driving in her car and saw 3 bunches of flowers beside the road. Later, she saw 1 more bunch of flowers beside the road. When Emily asked what the flowers were for, Emily’s mom said, “Some very nice person wanted to make the world a little brighter.” Draw a picture showing why you think the mystery flower person is just so happy!

  • Earth’s temperature went up 1 degree last year. Next year it will go up 1 more degree. The year after that it will go up 1 more degree. The year after that it will go up 1 more degree. Draw a picture showing just how much fun you’ll have splashing around in the warm ocean water in Nebraska! Show lots of details — like the big smile on your face you have while running from the waves as they get bigger and bigger, tossing you around like a very salty water park ride! Or do you prefer something a little more adventurous? Draw a picture of you hopping from charred log to charred log in the Amazon rainforest! Isn’t it so much fun now that the trees are out of the way and you can feel the sun scorching your eyeballs and blistering your skin? Not to mention you can see the beautiful orange and purple hazy sky! Don’t leave anything out. Show us how you will dodge the falling embers and gentle droplets of acid rain — and use fun colors to make the scene come to life! Isn’t the future just so beautiful and not at all filled with death and suffering?!?!?!

Dad, writer, and editor. Author of the novel Love’s a Disaster and the humorous essay collection Fatherhood: Dispatches From the Early Years. Probably sweeping off the trampoline right now.

EMEA Tribune is not involved in this news article, it is taken from our partners and or from the News Agencies. Copyright and Credit go to the News Agencies, email news@emeatribune.com Follow our WhatsApp verified Channel210520-twitter-verified-cs-70cdee.jpg (1500×750)

Support Independent Journalism with a donation (Paypal, BTC, USDT, ETH)
WhatsApp channel DJ Kamal Mustafa