Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Far From the Madding Crowd
“And you can tell Trump was waiting for a crowd reaction, too. I mean, look at him — it’s like watching an open-mic night at the senior center,” Meyers said on Monday night.
“He treated supporters to an hour and 43 minutes of bitching about the election he lost and how he didn’t lose it, and how he didn’t concede because it was stolen from him, and all that stupid nonsense that runs on a loop in his brain.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Wow, and I was worried about bringing audiences back. I never thought I’d say this, but maybe you should go into lockdown. You know, remote shows might be better for you. You could borrow my attic.” — SETH MEYERS
“Also, I love the cutaways to sullen Trump fans just standing there in silence like tourists watching one of those gold statue guys in Times Square: [Imitating tourist] ‘So is he going to, like, do something?’” — SETH MEYERS
But if the Iowa rally wasn’t his crowd, Jimmy Kimmel joked about the protesters on Jan. 6 who were. Kimmel reported that Jonathan Karl’s new Trump tell-all, “Betrayal,” details Trump’s bragging about the size of the crowd that stormed the capitol.
“Of course, he was. Is there anything this guy won’t brag about? It’s like bragging about the size of your tumor. It’s not good.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Size matters so much to him. It’s almost as if he’s insecure about something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Someday he’ll be looking up from the bowels of hell, elbowing his buddy, Jeffrey Epstein, saying, ‘Can you even believe how many people are dancing on my grave right now?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Mutually Exclusive Edition)
“Happy Indigenous Peoples’ or Columbus Day, depending on which cable news channel you watch.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Today was Indigenous Peoples’ Day. Now, of course, some people still call it Columbus Day, and to those people, I say: ‘How you getting back to Jersey? Path train?’” — SETH MEYERS
“It’s weird to celebrate these on the same day. It’s like celebrating herpes on Valentine’s Day — they don’t really go together.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He was never here, and yet, we named a whole city in Ohio after him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Tonight Show” guests Chelsea Handler and Finn Wolfhard faced off in a game of True Confessions.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Phoebe Bridgers will perform on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”