Vanessa Feltz has spoken about the moment she threw herself out of a moving taxi after she found out her fiance of 16 years had been cheating on her.
The TV star confronted her then-partner, Ben Ofoedu, in the cab over rumours he had been cheating after her own daughters, Saskia and Allegra, had earlier broken the news to her.
And, after he confessed, she said she opened the door and jumped into the road. As the Mirror reports, the star insists she still wholeheartedly believes in love
âIâve been single for 21 months and counting. It’s not my happy state,â Vanessa, 62, told the Mirror.
âBut I’m certainly not going to be plunging in with any old renegade who comes along and says they like my eyes. I wonât be going âHere’s my cheque bookâ, âCome and take a kidney, what would you like?â âPlease let me give you half my house immediatelyâ. I’m not doing that anymore.
âI’m just not doing that. I’ve got to have learned something from all of this, haven’t I?, and I hope I’ve learned that anyway.â
Frank and honest, Vanessa hasnât got time for fame seekers either: âMy last relationship has put me off dating anyone whoâs a wannabe,â she says.
âSome just want to grab your coat tails and let you drag them up a red carpet. And Iâve really just about had enough of being somebodyâs access-all-areas lanyard.â
Speaking ahead of the release of her new memoir Vanessa Bares All, the TV star has clearly been reflecting on her past. And she can say with absolute certainty: sheâs been badly let down by nearly every man in her life.
It was January 2023 and she had been at a West End restaurant for a family dinner, when her then-fiance, 10 years her junior, decided to call a cab, before sheâd even finished eating.
Her adult daughters, fed up at the way he treated her, couldnât keep quiet any longer.
Theyâd been tipped off by an online troll that her fiance had been playing away. And as he tried in vain to hurry his fiancee away, it all came tumbling out.
Staggered and shocked, Vanessa got into the waiting taxi, let the news sink in, and then confronted her beau.
âHe was spluttering, stuttering, expostulating. I didnât understand because he wasnât making sense,â she reveals.
Eventually he admitted he had been messaging another woman – which she later discovered had been going on at least a year. And It wasnât his first betrayal.
âI couldnât stand another second. I couldnât bear it,â she explains. âI opened the door of the moving taxi and jumped. My coat was torn. Blood was seeping from a cut on my arm. I assumed he would stop the cab and follow to see if Iâd survived the leap. He didnât.â
Instead he mistakenly sent her a string of texts meant for the other woman – then posted Instagram pictures of him partying at a club. She changed the locks that night and has not seen him since.
Today is the first time she has spoken about what happened. Vanessa, understandably, would prefer never to speak his name again. So she calls him âOne Hit Wonderâ (OHW), a reference to his 1999 hit. He has been disappointedly vocal about her, however.
âI tried to take the high ground on it and not say anything at all, but itâs made me pretty miserable,â Vanessa tells us. âEspecially as I had loved this person. And I think I had been a loving and kind, loyal, sort of decent, faithful, smiling, encouraging kind of partner. I donât think Iâd done anything to deserve that.â
She could say the same about the way her first husband treated her.
She married consultant orthopaedic surgeon Michael Kurer, the father of daughters – child therapist Saskia, now 35, and solicitor Allegra, now 38 – in 1985.
For 16 years Vanessa thought they were blissfully happy. Then one Sunday in September 1999, he blindsided her.
âI was joking about being broody,â she recalls. âThen out of nowhere, he said in a Dalek-like voice: âI-do-not-rule-out-the-possibility-of-a-divorceâ.â
She asked the only question she could: âwhy?â. His reply was chilling.
ââYou are just so fat, so fat. Itâs hideousâ,â Vanessa remembers him saying. ââYou are hideous. I keep waiting for you to get diabetesâ.â
The star, who was a normal size 18, went into shock.
âI couldnât breathe properly. I could hardly see,â she recalls.
A few days later Michael outrageously offered her a 12-week âtrialâ period to save the marriage.
He never explained the criteria on which she would be âjudgedâ. But given his earlier outburst, she decided to get as thin as possible fast as she could. She survived on apples, hard-boiled eggs, and fewer than 300 calories a day while training seven days a week.
âI had to win the trial,â Vanessa explains. âSaskia was 10 and Allegra was 14. This wasnât a challenge I could fail.â
Six weeks in, she had dropped at least a dress size, if not more. They went to her cousinâs wedding, she wore a stunning black and white dress, they danced and chatted. She thought they might be getting over the blip.
But later that night, he suddenly jumped up out of bed. He grabbed a suitcase, packed it there and then, and left. It turned out heâd been having an affair.
The next day, he returned to inform his bewildered daughters their parents no longer loved each other and he was moving out. His cold, matter-of-fact delivery left the girls distraught â something that Vanessa can never forgive.
âI think that one can forgive on oneâs own behalf. But I feel very differently about anyone who does anything to my children,â she says ardently. âEspecially the person who is meant to love them the most in the world. So I cannot feel that I can forgive.
âI don’t feel that I can forgive anybody who does anything to cause my children pain and shock and grief and thoroughly destabilise them.â
It was Vanessaâs grandmother who introduced the eligible doctor Michael to Vanessa – having met him when he treated her in hospital. Vanessa was 22 and had just graduated with a degree in English Literature from Cambridge. Raised in a north London Jewish family, sheâd been taught marriage was the ultimate achievement. Ten weeks later, she and the doctor were engaged.
Just a few hours after she said yes, her mother Valerie had booked the wedding hors dâoeuvres. Three months after that, Vanessa was expecting Allegra.
âI never felt I had the luxury of waiting,â she explains. âI felt that everything was incredibly urgent and it was particularly urgent to find a partner, to get married and then to have another partner when my husband walked out on me. I would have got married the next morning if I could have found someone!â
It was actually six years later when she met âOHWâ by the chocolate fountain at the OK! Magazine Christmas party. She should have seen the red flags there too.
For one, he wanted to be her plus one for showbiz events but then would then stay on partying alone.
Nowadays, she admits she hates spending time at home alone – even after her emergency operation to remove a kidney stone last month.
Itâs been 636 days since the split and she has been out every single night, bar one.
Her one evening in – Sunday, January 28, 2024 – involved a salmon fillet in foil, watching television and a bath. Itâs An experience she writes off with one withering word: âBearableâ.
âItâs not the houseâs fault I havenât wanted to sit in it,â she writes in her memoir, which is being serialised exclusively in the Mirror this weekend. âBut weeks before my sixty-first birthday I was suddenly solo yet again and I couldnât hack it. The idea of hanging about all by myself till I left for work the next day was too echoingly empty to contemplate. So, I went out instead.â
Sheâs had a lot of support from her close friends, including the âresilient, absolutely devoted, indefatigableâ Myleene Klass (âSheâs my stellar standout celebrity pal from heavenâ), Loose Women âs newly-single Linda Robson (âShe a great laugh and always out on the tilesâ), Rylan Clark (âhe’s such a larkâ), and the âlovely, lovelyâ Holly Willoughby (âone of the few people as beautiful on the inside as the outsideâ).
Vanessa has also started dating – to mixed results.
âFirst was the extremely orthodox – synagogue seven mornings a week, kosher to the max â chap with an unexpected penchant for nightclubs who thought he was a dead-ringer for Al Pacino,â she reveals.
They enjoyed four months of âwining, dining and writhing about in the boudoirâ despite the fact he repeatedly asked her âAm I the handsomest man in the room?â – without ever repaying the compliment.
It ended when he boasted about hooking up with another woman at a wedding – to her friendâs brother. When questioned by Vanessa, he admitted it, but never apologised.
Other dates have included an entrepreneur who tipped off the paparazzi, a property developer who showed her pictures of his dead mother on their first date, an ex from 1974 who she realised was still âa pillâ, and an âinsufferably pompous legal beagle with a Roller and handsome chauffeurâ. She dumped the lawyer and had a date with the chauffeur instead.
Itâs a sitcom in the making. But Vanessa, a devoted grandmother of four, is genuinely hopeful The One will come along soon. Claiming sheâs âgenetically hard-wired to want a mateâ, she admits she canât be truly happy alone.
âI do believe in love,â she says fervently. âI hope that one day, Cupid will tap me on the shoulder, and I will find true love again. I would like to be able to say to a man, âI love youâ. I really miss that.â
And for all her ârollickingâ career success, she would happily trade it in for a happy relationship.
âI would have chosen a lasting and loving marriage over any career because it was the most important thing to me,â she confesses. âAnd I still think the same thing actually. Career is not the main thing.â
Hopefully Mr Right will be right round the corner soon. Just remember to keep tight hold of those kidneys though, Vanessa.
*Vanessa Bares All: Frank, Funny and Fearless, by Vanessa Feltz (Transworld, ÂŁ22), is published October 24.
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