A woman admitted she decided not to rectify her young daughter’s comment that ruffled feathers in her family.
The statement from her six-year-old towards a relative’s child has created considerable controversy amongst her family members and left her feeling disheartened. Her mother’s new partner’s adopted daughter posed a simple question to her little girl, who answered “as innocently as a six year old would”.
However, the response of the young girl was misconstrued and aggravated the woman’s mother and her husband, causing their adopted daughter to feel hurt.
Taking to Mumsnet, the parent unbiased opinions about the exchange between their daughters. She shared: “Context – my mother married a man with an ‘adoptive’ daughter (not officially adopted but he has been her ‘dad’ since she was one so that’s that) and she has two children with a man who is in prison […] I don’t see her kids regularly, as they live 4-5 hours away and probably see them once or twice a year.”
Last weekend, she recalled: “It was nice weather” leading them to host a barbecue. Her mother brought along her grandchildrenthe product of the first meeting at her placeas it coincided with her babysitting day.
During the BBQ, a conversation occurred between the four year old child of her mother and her six year old. When asked by the younger kid: “Why do you live with both your mummy and daddy? ” Her daughter cheerfully answered: “mummies and daddies have babies when they love each other and we live together here”.
The exasperated mother went on to say: “This has now caused an issue because apparently my daughter implied to the 4 year old that her mummy and daddy don’t love each other – which to be honest I laughed at when confronted about as it’s so ridiculous.
“My mum and her husband want me to speak to my daughter and correct her and ask her not to say things like that again if asked. I said I’d do a bit more around ‘all families are different’ but I’m not going to go too hard into correcting a basic statement that most kids are told when asking about birds and the bees etc.”
In the comments, one user questioned why she wouldn’t just co-operate to keep the peace, writing: “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t co-operate with this completely reasonable request. They aren’t asking you to burden your daughter with the gory details, they’re just asking you to explain that not everyone has a nuclear family set-up, not all parents do love each other, and sometimes we need to be careful what we say in order to avoid hurting someone.
“Why don’t you want to do this small thing to protect the feelings of a child who has already had a traumatic start in life? Doesn’t your daughter already know that not all families are like hers? “.
However, another user supported the original poster, saying: “I don’t really understand what they want you to say to her, to be honest. I’d advise them to talk to the four-year-old about different family set-ups too.”
Another person commented: “Surely both girls just need a short ‘remember all families are different and that’s fine’ talk? I’d say the issue here is primarily that no one has explained her own family set-up to the 4-year-old.”
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